Its all going wrong :(

OK i have screwed up BIG time!

I have screwed up and been off my diet for two weekends on the trot! I have drunk a shed load of wine and eaten just as much crap! Grr!!

I am really disappointed in myself! I should have worked harder at my diet, as i can’t make the gym! Hubby is away this week working. I did walk 3.5 miles yesterday evening,which was great to clear my head and I have been to boot camp but i just feel it isn’t enough!

I am not giving up but I am  worried. What if i am not cut out to keep this up? what if i get thin and i hate it! To be fair i hate being fat so……. I can’t win!

At work, I am just getting so annoyed at everyone and everything! I keep getting tension headaches and pains in my chest! (I had Pleurisy a few months ago and i am still struggling with tissue damage!) and all i have wanted to do is eat chocolate and crisps and hate everyone! But i have stressed out so much recently andhad a few anixety issues, that i thinks it all linked to that!

But my body looks awful at the moment.  I have lost over a stone in weight and my body shape is changing (Yeah!) but at the moment, I just hate it, I am actually getting upset when i look in the mirror (Boo!). My waist line is coming in (Yeah!) but i look like i have two tyres around my middle! (Boo again!) Its awful! and my chest looks like two spaniel ears flapping in the wind! Trust me that was the nices way to put it!

Nothing is tightening up and i hate it!

I need to keep up with the gym and diet as i know everything will fall into place (well apart from the boobs but i will cross that bridge when i get there! I am sure there will be a blog about breast surgery in my future!)

Boot camp was on tonight and it was hard work. But i did pushed myself harder, did more reps and sweated like a nutter but i just wasn’t happy!

Is this normal?

Right, I can’t keep dancing at this pity party as I will end up crying and screaming at the computer screen!

tomorrow i am going to do something about it but i just don’t know what at the moment! I am heading to the gym this week (when hubby is back from working away!) and talk to the gym bunnies and see what they suggest. Don’t worry though guys i will report back and let you know what they say!

Wish me luck guys!

Bye for now

The Duff

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