So i went to the gym and thought i was going to do a small run and bike then call it a day.
I only went and done a 10 mile bike ride and a 2.5k run without stopping!!! Oh my god I felt like shite but it also felt so good to sweat the crap of the day away. I actually came out of the gym smiling and feeling bloody awesome! I even biked home!
I have had a really time of it lately. Anxeity, depression, self doubting and then the crap i am getting at work. It has gotten worse ove rthe last few days.
I has my yearly review with my director and as i said in a previous blog, i couldnt bring myself to say “no i am not great and i hate what is happening here!” I love my director he is so trying to help me but he has no understanding of mental health issues (a tad starnge when you work for coming that promotes care all) He keeps asking me how he make me better and then makes me feel bad when he tells me tbat no one wants to talk to me as they are wealking on eggs shells around me! Bollox that what i say. The girls in accounts are great and they have always been a friend to me (even though i keep getting told they will “slag me off if i ever leave”
Well its time for a change! I had a job interview at a lovely company, were it is less stress, less target, less bitchy and just lovely. I was talking to my agent this evening and she sad that they love me and that they are just trying to figure out the role in which they want me!
So, The new checklist looks like this
- cardio the crap out of me in the gym three days a week – Check!
- Eat better food – Check
- Drink less wine – semi check
- Get a new job – semi check
- Begin to feel like a happy, normal woman – getting there!
So, i think i am getting better at this thing called life. My home life is on track and very happy but once all the cards fall into place i think the Duff will be a happy Duff again.
Right i think it is time for me to log off and look at my panto script. Second round of auditions are on Monday and Wednesday next week so i will blog again after that!
Love to you all