Attack of the scribble head!

You never know when my scribble head will appear! That is what I am calling my anxiety now as when I have an attack my head feels like a toddler has scribbled in it! It’s all messed up and needs time to reprogram!

I have noticed that I won’t just have full blown attacks now. If I have a nightmare or a bad dream that will set me off into a quiet, lost and confused state. That may take a few hours to come out of. I think this is my anxiety coming through in a different way as I have been trying to suppress it while I am working.

It has manifested itself through stress as well. Where the smallest thing will make me, angry or upset. But the strangest thing this is not at home?! it is literally only at work! It’s the strangest thing. At home, I am quite relaxed and hubby and I are enjoying him being home (well I am not sure if he likes it lol)

After a shitty few days at work and two smallish episodes of stress and anxiety. I went to the Rainbow recently for a few a glasses of wine as I was meeting friends, that I haven’t seen in a while. When I say friends, I mean it was Drunk Seal, Snowflake and two others.  The two others were my two buddies that are getting married. I will call them the chef and her side chick. Yup I said her! Yes, they are gay and I have never seen the chef this happy. I have known her for about 3 -4 years from when I worked in the same pub as her!  And I have helped her through some really shitty relationships! But finally, she has met the woman of her dreams and getting married and I get to matron of honor again!! Wahoo!!! Second reason to get skinny in action!!!

So, they are checking out a few venues so that will be the main thing sorted. They know what they are wearing. But I have too sort the bridesmaid dresses and then flowers, Plus the hen parties (Joint one! Easy… BRIGHTON!) Also, they have asked myself, snowflake, drunk seal and dolly to sing at the reception! So that’s will take some planning! I am so looking forward to the day! We have agreed to meet once a week or so to see where we all are with or “to do” lists!

It was nice, just chilling and laughing and not worrying about work etc. My head was clear and all I could think about was how lucky I was to have friends like the nutters and chef, Side chick and piano man and such a loving family!

The Rainbow is somewhere I can walk through the door and just forget about my work day. It’s almost like the bar from Cheers! Everybody knows your name!

But for the rest of this week I am staying home every night and cuddling up on the sofa or in bed with my two-favorite people in the world (hubby and chidling, in case you were wondering!) and watch Star Wars or even star trek!

The Chidling is now loving Star trek, which is great as I love it and hubby loves Star Wars so yeah! Best of both worlds.

I love the fact my chidling is such a boy. He loves Star Wars and Star Trek and Athletics and Karate and Running. Plus he loves reading the beano! Wahoo! I used to love the Beano as a kid! Chidling has also taken up playing golf! To the delight of hubby as this is one of his favorite pass times! So, they have been going to the range twice a week for the last month and to be fair they are both doing really well! Hubby recently [played 18 holes for the first time in 9 years (having afamily gets in the way of golf!) and loved it so I am trying to get him to go more often and I am even going to give it a go. May be smacking a few golf balls is just what the doctor ordered?

Right, I better go as I need to get on with work! LOL

Love you all

The Duff



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